Down The Rabbit Hole

So we had a doctor’s appointment this morning with my OB/GYN, because it’s been seven months and I haven’t gotten pregnant yet. I’m a freaking wreck most of the time because of this, but my dear doctor seems completely unconcerned. I told her that we’ve been using a fertility monitor for the past two months which has taught us that I ovulate two days earlier than I thought I did. So she pretty much tossed out anything before the past two months, told us to wait and see if it worked this month, and in case it doesn’t, wrote us a presctiption for Hawk to go get a sperm count done and me to have a blood test. If I don’t get pregnant in the next three months, she’ll have me do two rounds of Clomid, which stimulates the ovaries (which kind of scares the crap out of me, because “stimulating the ovaries” can mean releasing more than one egg which can mean TWINS. Eep.

The fact that she is so calm about it makes me feel two different ways: 1) I want to scream and cry and tell her that I’m freaked out and scared that I’ll never get pregnant and to just MAKE IT BETTER, and 2) That if she’s not worried about it, I shouldn’t be worried about it, and just chill the fuck out already. Which is probably the better attitude of the two.

So, if I get my period, it will be sometime during the latter part of next week (isn’t that nice, internet, that you get to know so much about my vagina?), and we go from there. Keep your fingers crossed. I know mine are.

Cute Overload, you make my world a better place.

Thank you.

Happy because I just bought tickets to go see Brandi Carlile at the Troubador on January 23. Woot! And I just got a new computer. Double Woot!

Sad because Hawk’s grandfather, Arthur, passed away last night. He’d been declining in health for a long time, and when we saw him last Tuesday (which would be the last time we saw him) he was shockingly thin and not very responsive, almost like he was just disappearing. When I met him ten years ago, he was 75, but still full of stories and jokes (which he told over and over and over), and was very charming. But when they closed the family business a few years ago, he just wilted. He considered his life over, and proceeded to withdraw. He was really never the same after that. Then Eileen, Hawk’s grandmother, died last May, and he really started the sharp decline after that.

So I’m sad that the Arthur I knew and loved is gone, but that really happened a few years ago. I’m glad for him that he could finally let go, because he was done, there was nothing left for him.

Seriously, if you guys haven’t seen Serenity yet, you must. It is just so goddamned good.

I love my husband’s family, don’t get me wrong. I’ve known them all now for ten years, and they’ve always been warm and welcoming and generally wonderful to me. They all have their quirks, but, hey, who doesn’t, right? They are some of the funniest, most generous people I know.

However, spending five days with all of them under one roof on top of a mountain in Albuquerque is an exercise in mental stability. From the discussion of anal sex at the Christmas Eve dinner table (complete with hand gestures and sound effects – I thought their Grandma’s head was going to explode), to the game of keep-away with mom’s gun (while driving, mind you – have you ever seen that episode of the Simpsons where Bart says that it’s time to repress another memory and keeps telling himself that he’s at Disneyland? I was right there with him at that point. “I’M AT DISNEYLAND”), it was nonstop hi-larity, I tell ya.

But it wasn’t all sodomy and firearms. We had a lot of fun, too. Ate a ton of AMAZING food (Hawk’s mom is a kick-ass cook and she did it up right. Her raspberry cake is to die for.), watched some movies, had a lot of good talks. Hawk’s brothers can make me laugh harder than just about anyone else on the planet.

And I did come away with a good haul – including this and this and this. And my in-laws’ dogs are awesome. I spent lots of time giving Molly belly rubs and rubbing Cody’s ears.

Even though it’s very very different from the kind of family gettogether I’m used to with my parents and brother, it was the same in that everyone so enjoyed being together and loves each other so much.

We are leaving for the airport in a few minutes to head off to Albuquerque (yay.)

Have a great holiday everyone!

…which is why I love this site. This is for all you nutjob neo-con “War on Christmas-ers” out there. Suck it.

I LOVE HIM!!

[image from Cute Overload]

Here is a pic of me and my Dad running in the 5K a couple weeks ago. Note the look of intense concentration, the gazelle-like stride, and even better, the fact that we weren’t the last ones dragging our asses down the boardwalk.

My folks came down to LA for their annual early Christmas visit, and, as always, we had a lovely time. It’s always so great to see them.

We had our “Christmas morning” on Saturday afternoon and opened presents. They gave us a new set of knives, which is awesome. I can’t wait to cut something. Among many wonderful things, I also got a new knitting bag and knitting needle roll. Exponentially better than the plastic shopping bag I was using. Hawk got a new shirt and tie, and a really nice bottle of bourbon. Which is the same thing we gave my brother. In my family, nice booze is an absolutely welcome and completely acceptable present, given from parent to child, child to parent, and sibling to sibling.

Friday we head to Albuquerque to spend Christmas with Hawk’s parents and brothers. I’m bringing my knitting and the three books I just checked out of the library. I plan to do nothing but relax.