When we went in for the ultrasound yesterday I was an absolute wreck. While we were sitting in the waiting room, I was totally crawling out of my skin. I started to cry while I was lying on the table and the lab tech was getting the ultrasound ready. Thank God for Hawk, who stood next to me and stroked my head and held my hand and told me everything was going to be fine.
Right away the tech found the gestational sac, right smack in the middle of my uterus where it is supposed to be. She said that it’s a little small for my gestational age based on my last menstrual period (five weeks and three days), but not to worry about that, because the actual time of conception is hard to pinpoint, so I might be a couple days earlier than we thought.
But my doctor said that it was exactly what he expected to see, and that it was too early to see anything other than a teeny little sac. He wants us back next Thursday for another one to make sure the sac is growing as it should, and by that time we should be able to see more. He also pointed out to me some small shadows on the ultrasound which he said indicated a little bit of bleeding, and he told me that if I had some spotting not to “freak out”. I appreciated the heads up. He didn’t seem concerned about it, so I figure I shouldn’t be.
He said “I know you’re freaking out, but right now everything is looking good. Cautious optimism.” He also told me that he’s chalking the progesterone level of 4 up to lab error, and that progesterone levels can fluctuate a bit, so maybe it wasn’t really that low. I think that’s probably because he wouldn’t have expected to see such good progression if it had really been that low.
Hawk was almost bouncing off the walls he was so excited. He said, “Baby, we just saw our baby!” And I was like, “No, we saw a teensy little sac.” “Well the baby is in the sac!” Isn’t he cute?
I was still pretty low, even after talking to my doctor, because I was so overwhelmed. I couldn’t shut my brain off to the “the sac was too small, the sac was too small”. I immediately started thinking about next week and if the sac will have grown enough. I suck. I guess there’s nothing I can do except take care of myself and try to stay calm and positive.
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