Sunset over the 101 freeway, taken with my iPhone
Archive for November, 2007
This is what our bathroom looks like at 6pm every evening:
Like hogs at a trough.
I was inspired by The Ex, who did a post a couple days ago about some of her favorite beauty products. As a perfumer, I am a bit obsessed with how things smell, so these are some of my faves.
Currently loving Philosophy’s Spiced Apple Cider 3 in 1. Nothing says autumn morning more than showering with something that smells warm and cinnamon-y apple-y. Num.
Since I am a shower gel whore (I have approximately twelve different shower gels in my shower right now. Hey, you never know what you’re going to be in the mood for), here’s another. Jo Malone Wild Fig and Cassis shower gel. YUM YUM YUM. I love me the woody fragrances, and this one has earthy fig with hints of cedarwood. Warm and delicious and comforting.
This is a bit of a plug for the perfume company I work for, but it’s a heartfelt one. I am looooooooooving (aka obsessed with) Joy Comes From Within. It has top notes of almond and nutmeg, a single middle note of orange blossom, and base notes of tonka bean, vanilla and musk. It’s soft, creamy and sparkly all at the same time. Yummy yummy yummy. I wear this and my husband nuzzles into my neck and sighs “You smell goooooooood”. (Obviously you can tell that if something makes me say YUMMY, it’s good.)
Other favorite perfumes NOT by my company: Datura Noir by Serge Lutens. Talk about sophisticated. When I wear this, I feel like the hottest chick in the room - mysterious and sexy. Also, Un Jardin En Mediterranee by Hermes. More of a spring and summer fragrance, I think, but it’s got this bright, green, earthy (there’s that fig again - I love fig) scent that just makes me swoon.
Next up is the Rare Amber Resin candle by BURN. I got this as a birthday gift and I swear to god it has ruined me for all other candles ever in my life. Yes, I am aware that it is a $95 candle. I don’t care. This candle makes me want to cry, it smells so good. It contains Golden Amber, Peruvian Balsam, Sumatra Benzoin Crystal, Florentine Orris, Somali Frankincense, Bourbon Isle Vanilla Absolute, Opopanax Resin & Brazilian Tonka Bean. It makes my house smell so warm and amazing, and it burns forever. Perfect for fall.
What are some of your favorite smell-y things?
Hawk and I just watched Leon (aka The Professional) for the first time the other night. Yes, I am aware that this movie came out in 1994 and that every other person on the planet, it seems, has seen it except me. I’m a little slow on the uptake sometimes.
But WOW! What a fucking movie. LOVED it. We watched the European Director’s Cut version, and from what I understand that adds quite a bit to the story. The acting is just incredible. It was Natalie Portman’s first movie, and she was phenomenal. She is one of my favorite actresses, but after seeing this, I may have to say that it’s her best work, and she was only eleven years old at the time. Jean Reno was perfect as Leon, and Gary Oldman is so good at playing psychotic it’s a little scary.
It was such an amazing love story. The relationship between Mathilda and Leon is so touching, so pure. Yes, Leon is a grown man and yes, Mathilda is a twelve year old girl, but the two of them seem to understand that they are soul mates. Plus, Leon is such a decent guy (despite the fact that he is a hitman) that he would never take advantage of Mathilda anyway. But he sees that she understands him better than anyone ever has, or ever will.
After I saw it, I was telling the girls at work that this movie has definitely made my Top Five favorite movies list now. And then I had to think about what my top five movies actually are, which is really hard. Because one of my favorite movies is Billy Madison with Adam Sandler, but that’s not really the kind of movie you say is one of your “Top Five Films of All Time”. And I really really love Serenity, 40 Year Old Virgin, Moulin Rouge and The Matrix, but I’m not sure if I can say I like them enough to be in the top five. Then there’s sentimental favorites like Say Anything (now who doesn’t love this movie), Emmet Otter’s Jugband Christmas (my family’s favorite Christmas movie) , The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (another family favorite - yes, I know that’s a bit strange) and River’s Edge (reminds me of sleepovers with my best friends in high school).
But I think this is my list (in no particular order):
Leon (aka The Professional)
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (I know this is cheating, because it’s actually three films, but I don’t care)
Real Genius
Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (the original version, before George Lucas fucked with it)
All The President’s Men
What’s your list?
Somebody else found my blog by googling “how long does it take a pregnant rabbit to have kittens”.
At first I was like, are you fucking kidding me? What the hell is wrong with you people? A rabbit does not have kittens.
Turns out, they do.
Today is a rare Tuesday where I actually have to go to work, but we are very busy making lots and lots of perfume oil for a private label client. Three hundred pounds of oil to be precise. Do you have any idea how long that takes when you’re making it in two pound increments? A long fucking time. It’s a lovely fragrance, but too much of anything can be bad, and I come home just reeking of the stuff at the end of the day.
I love my job, though. Even when I’m elbows deep in three hundred pounds of oil, I’m enjoying what I’m doing and who I’m doing it with. A little Ryan Adams or Franz Ferdinand on the stereo (depending how angsty we’re feeling that day), and we’re good to go. We have deep philosophical conversations over that blending table, or get giddy and silly and have Thirty Second Dance Parties (thank you, 30 Rock).
I never thought I would be so thankful for my job, or enjoy it so much. I am a lucky woman.
Happy Birthday to my beautiful mother. You are always an inspiration and joy in my life.
I love you!
Today is the one year anniversary of my miscarriage. It might be the Zoloft talking, but I’m pretty okay with it, more like looking at it from a distance - “Oh, that was a year ago. Hmm. That sucked.”
On one hand, I can’t believe a year has passed already. On the other, it seems like it’s been forever. I am such a totally different person than I was a year ago that it almost seems to have happened to somebody else. And I guess on some level it did.
Before I got pregnant, I had always said that I would rather never get pregnant than get pregnant and miscarry. I didn’t think I could deal with that level of grief and despair. I can see now, a year later, how wrong I was. Losing my baby was the worst thing that has ever happened to me, and I saw depths of sadness that I never thought possible. But I got through it, and it taught me more about myself than anything in my life previous. I know now the wells of strength that exist within me. I know that I can go on living my life even though everything seems to be falling apart. The world keeps turning, the sun will always come up again tomorrow. There is always hope for a new day.
My experience didn’t only teach me about myself, but about the people in my life, and how I relate to them. My relationship with my husband is even stronger than it was before, mainly due to his boundless patience and compassion. I’m sure there were times where he just wanted to walk out the door and leave me in my puddle of misery, but he never did. He held me while I cried - every time. He took every single phone call where I was freaking out and positive that we would never have a baby and needed to be talked off my ledge.
My friends listened to countless stories about doctors appointments and blood tests, gave innumerable hugs of support. It got to the point where I wanted to come through my grief and anxiety for them as much as for myself, so that I wouldn’t exhaust them with all of my problems. They were there for me, I wanted to be able to be there for them during their hard times. I hope that now I am a better wife and friend, because I want to do for the people I love what they did for me.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I am “enlightened” now or that it’s not still hard sometimes, because god knows the past few months have been a nightmare. The medication I’m on is totally necessary for me at this point in time in order to deal with everything that has happened, but it has also helped to quiet my mind enough so that I can actually reflect on the past year with more clarity. I’ve got a long way to go before I can say that I am really truly healed. But I’ve also learned that I’m not afraid of the work.
In the end, I suppose that I would not have given up this experience for anything. That I felt the loss of my baby so deeply gives me a glimpse of how much I will love the child I believe I will one day have. I am the person I am today because of what I lived through; I am stronger for it, I love more deeply because of it. My miscarriage was just another step along my path, one that taught me that I have what it takes, with the love and support of my family and friends, to survive whatever comes my way.
BOTH my husband and I slept until 11am this morning. That NEVER happens. I guess we needed it. At thirty, I feel way guiltier sleeping away the morning than I did at twenty, but I have to say, it felt pretty good.
The beginning of my hiatus coincided with our getting a new puppy, so you all didn’t get to be inundated with baby pictures and me gushing about how damn cute this dog is. Well, that is about to change.
This is right after she got spayed. The cone did not phase her in the least. She is the happiest dog ever.
She loves to play ball, and wrestle and chase. We take her to the dog park every Sunday and she looooooooves it. She plays so well with every dog, is so easygoing. A couple weeks ago she played with a Mastiff for a long time and ended up soaked in his slobber. So gross.
She and Daisy had a bit of a rough start, but we took things really slow, living around baby gates and coordinating who got to go outside when so that they weren’t in direct contact with each other. Then we started taking them on walks together, which they both enjoyed. Then came the playing.
Jenny adores Daisy. She wants to play with her or be near her all the time. For her part, Daisy has accepted Jenny as her bratty younger sister who she will sometimes indulge by chasing around the yard, but most of the time is just plain annoyed by. But there have been no eruptions or fights in weeks, and Daisy seems to understand that Jenny isn’t going anywhere and that we love them both, so her patience with Jenny seems to know no bounds.
Jenny is as sweet as she is beautiful. She is totally a rude puppy, annoying and disobedient, but she does it all with only the purest of intentions. She’s so excited by life, by people. She just wants to be close, to give kisses, and to get belly rubs in return. Often this means leaping into your lap on the couch when you’re not expecting it, causing the cat that was on your lap and the drink in your hand to go flying, but it’s hard to stay mad at that little face.
I don’t have kids yet, but if how I feel about this dog is any inkling of how I will feel about my child one day, I’m in trouble! This dog breaks my damn heart. I love her so much already, and we’ve only had her two months. I look at her and I’m happier. She sees me and starts wagging her whole back half and grunting little happy sounds. I think of all the years to come and all the time we’ll get to share with her and it makes me smile.
