Final ultrasound: As expected, no growth, no sign of an embryo or a yolk sac. My doctor says this means that this was an anembryonic pregnancy, a blighted ovum. Meaning that the cells that were meant to develop the placenta grew, but the cells that were meant to develop into the embryo did not. This makes me feel better, because I see it like I’m not losing a baby. It was just a cluster of cells that went awry. Yes, at one point they had the potential to be a baby, but that’s not how it went this time. I got my prescription for Misoprostol, so in the next couple days I will begin the process of ending this pregnancy. They also gave me Darvocet and Ativan this time. As the nurse was writing me the prescriptions, I was thinking, wow, why didn’t I get the pain and brain meds the first time around? I could have really used them that time. This time I’m an old hand at this shit. But hey, I am never one to turn down help of the pharmaceutical kind.
In a couple weeks we’ll have a meeting with the doctor to map out more of a plan, for more tests and treatment. I don’t think we’ll get into actually trying again for several months, but we’ll see.
In other news, I went to see Ryan Adams at Royce Hall at UCLA tonight and it was killer. I *heart* him. My friend Marlene and I (who both went to UCLA lo these many years ago) struck up a conversation with the kid sitting next to us and it turns out that he was born in 1989. My head about exploded. He has never seen Ghostbusters. I didn’t even know what to say to that.
