Had my follow up ultrasound this morning. Although there was growth of the gestational sac, it wasn’t enough, and there was no sign of an embryo or even a yolk sac. A subsequent blood draw showed that my hCG levels did rise, but nowhere near enough. My doctor says he’s 95% sure that it’s no good, but wants me to come in one more time on Wednesday for yet another ultrasound “just to make 100% sure”, which I think is stupid. I guess it’s because there was growth, even if it wasn’t enough, but I told him that I am reluctant to pay $200 for another ultrasound which is just going to tell us what we already knew anyway. He didn’t know that our insurance covers absolutely zip of all of this, so he agreed not to charge me for the ultrasound. Which is nice. I told him that I am happy to pay for everything that I think is necessary, but this one I just don’t. I know it’s done. I’ve known it for a week. So I’ll humor him, go in on Wednesday, and leave with a prescription for Misoprostol.
I’m also totally irked by nurses who don’t read the fucking file in front of them before they call with lab results. Case in point from today: “Hi Miranda, it’s Nurse So-and-So, and your numbers are great! Nice and high - 4600! You’re definitely pregnant!” Um. Thanks. Did you happen to see the results from last week’s test? If you had, I doubt you would be so excited. Call me back when you get a clue.
I’m actually doing okay with it, the fact that I am miscarrying again. I’m sad, but hopeful for the future. There’s nothing I can do to change this situation, so I just have to roll with it. I’m just annoyed at the “wait and see”, “one more ultrasound” crap. My doctor is a very nice man, very sympathetic, but he can’t really know how hard all the waiting and “what ifs” are for me.
My grandmother miscarried several times before she could get pregnant. But she did, and eventually had 6 children. I’m sorry you have to go through this (my god! those nurses!).
Thinking nothing but good thoughts for you.
I have been following your blog for a few months now, but first time to comment. I am so sorry you are going through this. I first came to your blog because you are experiencing exactly what I am going through as well. Three pregnancies last year. All early bleeding, slow hcg rise, growing sac –but have to wait until they can really see there is nothing inside before doing a d&c or misoprostol.
The most insidious thing is the dragging out of the whole awful experience and then a terrible way to miscarry at the end of it all. I am very very sorry.
i am so, so sorry honey. i know how ridiculous how nurses and doctors can be.
let me know if you need some soup or anything at all, i’ll be right over.
xoxo