Down The Rabbit Hole

It occurred to me, last summer as I was wedged into one corner of our living room sofa trying desperately to read the new Harry Potter book by the dim light of the only lamp in the house, that we needed a better place in this house to read a damn book without going blind. I don’t like to read on the couch. To me, the couch is for TV-watching, laptop-browsing, and cocktail-enjoying. I also don’t like to read in bed for any extended length of time. Ten, fifteen minutes tops. Then I fall asleep. But when I wanted to sit down and read a book, there was really no good spot in the house to do it.

And we have this room. This room that, for several years, had been my office/the room with the futon where my parents sleep when they come visit. For a long time I was reluctant to do anything with it, because I figured that it was going to be a baby’s room “one day”, and I didn’t want to get ahead of myself or jinx the baby thing or whatever.

But in the past couple months I thought to myself, that’s stupid. It’s a perfectly good room, and yes, we will have a baby “one day” and then it will be the nursery, but until then, I could turn it into a reading room. A nice, comfy, warm reading room, maybe with a squishy chair and good lighting. I could even use it as a meditation space, because up until now I’ve been meditating on my bedroom floor and invariably end up staring into my closet and thinking about shoes.

So I did it. First I painted the room a lovely pale yellow color. Then, we got some new bookshelves so that, for once, we can have all our books in one place. Next, for Christmas, Hawk gave me a chair. Or, he told me that for Christmas he would buy me whatever chair I wanted. So we went chair shopping and found the perfect one! It’s a super soft reclining armchair and I’m sure that I will be spending hours and hours in it, reading to my heart’s content. And then leaning it back and having a nap. I also got beautiful curtains made. I feel so adult,what with the buying window treatments and all!

detail of the painting we bought back in December

Especially with the happenings of the past few days, I am really glad that we decided to do this. I need to take care of myself right now, to be gentle with myself, and what better way than curling up with a good book, or closing the door and meditating in the quiet. When I am at home, I feel warm and safe, and my new sanctuary embodies that perfectly.