Feeling pretty good today, but yesterday I almost threw up in Baby Gap. I was doing a little celebratory “We Saw the Heartbeat” shopping. I was fine and all of a sudden I got this crazy wave of nausea that had me desperately glancing around the store looking for an acceptable place to throw up. Thankfully, it passed, because that would have been a little embarrassing. However, my husband did point out that that probably happens in there all the time, what with all the pregnant women shopping and all.
I am wrestling with the two parts of me: the ecstatic part that is excited to be a mom and the prospect of growing this little person inside me and wants to tell everyone I meet about it, and the cautious part that is terrified of losing the baby and being heartbroken and having to tell all my family and friends and break their hearts too. I know, believe me I KNOW, that it is still very early, I am only six weeks along and anything could happen at this point. I just have to believe that staying positive and optimistic is the best way to get through these uncertain times.
Going baby clothes shopping yesterday was a small way of doing just that. As I was carefully sorting through the teeny onesies and itty bitty pairs of pants, I smiled, imagining my son or daughter (we’re not going to find out the sex before the baby is born) in these cute little outfits, and it made me really really happy.
