Down The Rabbit Hole

Sixteen weeks!

Had another ultrasound this morning and all looks awesome.  I can’t believe how much our little peanut is growing.  It’s so amazing how we can now see all the bones - spine, ribs, fingers, arm and leg bones.  He/she was doing lots of waving and kicking and wiggling.  I can’t *quite* feel it yet, although there has been a flutter or two that I haven’t been able to dismiss as gas

In belly news, it’s freaking huge.  I have officially moved up to my first pair of maternity jeans (which the ultrasound tech today chuckled at because she says I’m going to outgrow them in no time) and I finally feel like I look pregnant.  Also, my boobs are enormous.  I actually tried to go buy a new bra the other day, but the girl at Victoria’s Secret was trying to convince me that I was actually a 32B instead of the 34B that I am currently spilling out of.  So instead I left and went to Mrs. Fields and bought myself a cookie.

I’m really doing great.  It feels good to be able to say that after everything Hawk and I have been through these past three years. I finally feel like I can (knock on wood) let my breath out and really just enjoy being pregnant and not have to worry all the time that the other shoe is going to drop.  I know that a lot can and will happen between now and January, but I am just going to take it as it comes.  Our baby looks wonderfully healthy so far, thank goodness.  I feel so blessed, so lucky to be where I am right now, to being having this experience, to be sharing it with my husband and my family.

In the past couple weeks I have weaned myself off of the anti-depressant I had been taking since last September.  I could have taken it through the second trimester, but I decided I was ready.  So far so good - I had a couple days where I felt my anxiety level creeping up, but it passed.  It certainly helped seeing the little one today - the beating heart, the kicking legs, the HANDS.  Too cool.

Plus I’ve started nesting.  Ordered the crib and changing table, spent half an hour on the phone with my mom poring over crib bedding online.  It’s starting to get more exciting and more real.  Man, I’m having a freaking baby!!