Eighteen weeks!
Check out that bell-ay. I am amazed every day at the rate in which my stomach is expanding. It’s a little freaky and I’ve started to get a wee bit concerned about stretch marks. I’ve been slathering myself with a yummy rich body cream from Origins, but does anyone have any other suggestions?
I’ve also started feeling the baby moving around. It’s totally wild. I can feel it best when I’m laying flat on my back. At first it just kind of feels like a weird pressure buildup in one area of my abdomen, below my belly button. But when I have my hand on my belly and he/she really gets going, I can actually feel the shifts and the rolls and the occasional distinct “bumps” from a hard kick. Last night I swear this kid was doing somersaults in there. Hawk was joking that the baby must be a girl because nearly every time I call him over to feel the kicks, he can’t feel it. He says, “She’s already defying her father. This does not bode well.” He did feel it last night though. Maybe it’s a boy 
Feeling my baby move has brought with it a whole new sense of reality. For four months I’ve thought, “Yep, I’m pregnant,” with not much to show for it other than a bloated-looking belly and a craving for Nachos Bell Grande. It’s almost been an abstract thought with ultrasound pictures to back it up every few weeks. But the first time I felt the baby move it was like, “Oh! You ARE in there!” There is a totally separate being living in my belly. Holy. Crap.
The movements also have given me more of a chance to feel connected to our little one. I love laying there, with my hand on my belly, quietly waiting to feel something. For a long time I feel the usual stomach gurgling, gas bubbles and then when I’m about to give up…*tap*. I smile and say, “Hi, sweetheart”. In these moments I am filled with such an overwhelming feeling of gratitude. I am so blessed, for so many reasons. I am blessed with the chance to be pregnant, to feel this life growing inside me, to nurture it as best I can (I promise there is much more to my diet these days than the aforementioned Nachos). And I see it as a blessing that surviving the pain of two miscarriages has allowed me to feel this gratitude all the more deeply. Would it have been so present if I hadn’t had those losses? I’m sure it would have to some degree, but I don’t know if it would be as intense.
